


it's so simple, fitting

by twohourstraffic



Series: take this sinking boat and point it home [7]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff, Gen, IKEA, M/M, shitty is a nickname factory, where would they be without lardo?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 17:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6997588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twohourstraffic/pseuds/twohourstraffic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Bitty get three days’ warning before their baby is born. Jack writes a lot of lists. Ransom and Holster paint the nursery. Their daughter receives her first nickname. Lardo is the only thing holding them all together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's so simple, fitting

For most of Jack’s life, Saturdays were game days, spent on the road or at the rink. When your team is eliminated in the first round of the playoffs, however, you find yourself left with more free time than you might necessarily want.

It has taken time – more time than he’s willing to admit – but Jack has finally come to appreciate the occasional lazy Saturday. Mornings spent in bed with Bitty and coffee and books, lunch on the deck, afternoons in the sun, evenings spent watching movies. Shitty and Lardo usually drop in at some point, Ransom and Holster are always there for movie night and even the frogs have been known to make an appearance, especially since Chowder signed with the Falcs.

This particular Saturday morning, he’s lying on a rug in their yard, Bitty resting his head on Jack’s back. He’s wearing ridiculous sunglasses that Jack wants to chirp him for but can’t, watching the clouds float by. Jack is half-asleep, replying to the occasional text that comes through from Shitty, who is shopping with Lardo.

He’s just replied _no you don’t need a giant fake tree, where would you put it_ when Bitty’s phone rings. He grabs it off the rug, pulling a face at the blocked number. “I swear, if this is one of those telemarketers, I’ll – yes, hi. Yes, this is Eric.”

Jack goes back to his phone, replying to the latest text ( _try and tell me i don’t need these ice cube trays, jack, i dare you_ ) as Bitty talks. He’s only half paying attention to what his husband is saying. “Yeah, of course I remember her. Oh… Oh! Oh my God … Wow. Sorry, did you just say _Tuesday_? … Oh no, that’s absolutely fine, it’s better than fine – it’s perfect. Definitely, it’s just a shock … No, thank you. So much. Really, I just … I don’t know what to say, Emily. You’ll send me the papers? OK. Thank you.”

Bitty hangs up and puts his phone on the ground carefully. He laughs to himself, then slumps back onto Jack’s back. After years together, Jack knows that Bitty will tell him if there’s something to worry about, so he doesn’t panic, but there’s clearly news. “Who was that?”

“Emily,” Bitty chokes out.

Jack combs his memory for an Emily before, “Wait, the social worker?”

“Yeah, baby. The social worker.”

Jack is a patient man, but there’s clearly something he doesn’t know. “And? What did she say?”

Bitty sits up, flips Jack over and lies on top of him again. “Are you ready to be a dad? For real, this time.”

“Holy shit. Holy _shit_ , Bitty. Are you serious?”

Bitty grins widely and they spend a few minutes laughing, hugging, kissing, losing their minds. This is happening. It’s really happening. After two years on the adoption register and three failed attempts, it’s happening.

Then Jack remembers something that he heard Bitty say while he was on the phone. “Wait, did you say Tuesday? Like, in three days, Tuesday?”

“They said they know it’s short notice, we can say no if we want, but we’ve waited so long. And you remember Rose? And how we were her second choice? Her first choice fell through, but she’s due to be induced on Tuesday so the baby’s coming whether we’re ready for her or not.”

Jack is stuck on one detail. “Her?”

“Yeah, Jack,” Bitty smiles. “We’re going to have a daughter on Tuesday.”

Then he freezes. “Oh my God, we need a list. Oh, we have so much to do! Babe, can you call everyone? We’re going to need all hands on deck. Thank God the Falcs were knocked out in the first round, to be honest – imagine if you had to be at work for the next few days.”

Jack decides to let that one go, so he just looks deep into Bitty’s eyes and kisses him gently. “Slow down, Bits. First things first. Go call your parents, I’ll call mine, then we can regroup and get a list sorted. We’ve got a few days, it’ll be fine.” Bitty grins, kisses him back, and then rolls over to grab his phone.

Jack stands up and goes over to sit at the table on their deck. He scrolls through his contacts until he gets to his parents’ home number. He can’t quite believe he’s entitled to share this news – he’s almost waiting for Emily to phone back and tell them it was a mistake.

He phones anyway.

“Allo?” When he hears his mom’s voice, some of the stress leaves his shoulders. After more than thirty years in Montreal, she’s fluent in French, but her accent is still distinctively American. It sounds like his childhood.

“Maman, it’s me. Is Papa around? I have something I want to tell you both.” Jack knows he’s moving too fast, not following the proper rules of conversation etiquette, but he just needs to tell someone or he might burst.

“Is everything OK, honey?”

“Yeah, everything’s perfect. I just have some news.”

He can hear his mom wandering around the house, calling his dad’s name. It sounds like she finds him in his study, watching tape of a recent game. “Bob, Jack’s on the phone,” she says, muffled, and Jack hears him pause whatever he’s watching as she switches it to speakerphone.

“What’s new, kid?”

Jack takes a deep breath. He can’t believe he’s about to utter these words. “Eric just got a call from the social worker. They’ve paired us with a birth mother and we’ve been approved to adopt the baby.”

He hears his mother gasp, and it sounds like she hugs his father. “Oh, sweetheart. That’s so exciting! And you’re sure it’s not a false alarm?”

“Everyone sounds pretty sure.”

“When is the due date?” his dad asks.

“Yeah, that’s the thing … Rose is being induced on Tuesday.”

There’s silence on the other end of the line, and for a second Jack wonders if the call has failed. “Guys? You there?”

“We’re here, Jack,” comes his mom’s voice through the phone. “Sorry, I was just surprised. That’s incredible, honey. Do you want us to come down this weekend?”

“Maybe next weekend? I’m not sure, I’ll talk to Eric, but it could be good to have a few days to try and work everything out by ourselves.”

“If you change your mind, just let us know, OK? There’s about fifty flights every day from Montreal to Boston. We’ll be there as soon as you need us.”

“How are you feeling, Jack?” asks his dad.

Jack tries to give the question the sincerity that he knows it carries and deserves. “I don’t think I’ve had time to process it, to be honest. Eric only got the call about ten minutes ago. We wanted you guys to be the first ones to know – he’s on the phone with his parents now.”

“Just look after yourself, OK?”

“I will. I always try to, anyway.”

“We know you do, kid. Just don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

“Yeah, well. I’ll do my best, anyway. I’d better get back to Eric, guys. We’ve got a lot to do and absolutely no time to do it. I love you both.”

“Love you too, honey.”

“Love you, Jack.”

He hangs out, puts his phone down on the table, and sits back to survey their yard. In a year, their daughter will be learning to walk on this grass. They’ll probably have to supervise her around the pebbles, but they can do that.

Bitty walks back out of the house and walks over to rest his chin on Jack’s head.

“What did your parents say?”

“Mama’s pretty excited, I have to say. She’s already trying to work out when she can make it up, although it might not be for a while. Coach isn’t really an emotional guy, but I think he’s pumped.”

“I’m sure he is. My parents offered to come down whenever we need them. I was thinking maybe next weekend?”

“Let’s see how we go, but it’s good to know we have the option. We’d better get a move on, though. The baby’s coming whether or not we’re ready. Oh my God, lists! We need to start to get going on those lists.”

Jack stands up and wraps Bitty in a hug. “We can do this, Bits. Let’s get ready for our baby.”

* * *

**_group message: the good hair brigade and jack_ **

**Jack:** any chance you guys can make it over to ours in the next hour?

**Jack:** we’ve got some pretty big news and want to tell you all in person

**Jack:** also we might need you for the rest of the day

**Jack:** bitty says we’ll provide lunch

**Ransom:** you’re lucky i’m off today

**Ransom:** give us 30

**Lardo:** Leaving now

**Shitty:** guys you’re already married

**Shitty:** jack are you pregnant

**Shitty:** HOLY SHIT ARE YOU GUYS HAVING A BABY

**Holster:** shits calm down

**Shitty:** HOLD ON JACK

**Shitty:** WE’RE IN THE CAR DON’T HAVE THE BABY UNTIL WE GET THERE

**Shitty:** lardo says to tell you that she’s driving but she’s also very excited

**Bitty:** LOL

**Shitty:** WHAT DOES THAT MEEEEEEEEAN

* * *

Shitty doesn’t even bother to knock, just lets himself and Lardo in with the spare key. Not for the first time, Jack contemplates just giving them their own copy – it’s got to be better for the pot plant than having Shitty digging through its soil every few days.

“Honey, I’m home!” Shitty calls from where he’s kicking off his shoes.

“We’re in the kitchen,” Jack calls back.

“Sorry to break it to you, Jack, but I was actually talking to your husband. Hi, darling.”

Bitty runs over and hugs him excitedly. “Hello there! I’m so glad y’all could make it so quickly, it’s just not the same telling people news over the phone.”

Shitty kisses the top of his head, then jumps up to sit on the counter next to where Jack is slicing a loaf of bread. “We’re here now, so tell us please. No pressure, but I think Lardo might have broken several road rules just to get us here. Make it worth our while?”

Lardo accepts the cup of coffee that Bitty hands her, then sits down at the table to watch Shitty with barely-concealed affection. “Shits, they’re not going to tell us until they’re ready to tell us. Hold your horses.”

“I’m defending you, my love,” Shitty complains. “All I’m saying is, if I’m going to have to go to traffic court and save you from the legal system, the least they could do is give us some fuckin’ deets.”

 “Lord, give me strength,” Bitty mutters, glancing at the ceiling. “Mr Knight, you can hold on for five minutes until the boys get here.”

“Yeah, but – see – the thing is – I’m actually not sure if I can.”

“I believe in you, Shits,” Jack adds from where his head stuck in the fridge, looking for something that he clearly can’t find. “Bits, where’s the Camembert? I swear we had some but I just can’t –”

“I know you believe in me, Jack, and I appreciate that, but I’m just saying that –”

The doorbell rings.

“About fuckin’ time,” Shitty mutters, running into the hallway to get the door. Holster’s greeting is totally overpowered by Shitty’s “Where the _fuck_ have you two been?”

Before Jack knows what’s happening, his kitchen is full of hockey players. Somehow, Shitty manages to calm down and the topic doesn’t come up until they’re sitting around the kitchen table, demolishing sandwiches. Bitty has apologised three times (“I’m so sorry guys, I know it’s not much but we were on a time limit and I had other things to be thinking about and –” “Eric Bittle, if you say you’re sorry one more time, I’m going to start sending you daily photos of the contents of our fridge”) and the coffee machine is starting to sound tired and they’re all catching up and laughing and Ransom is half-way through giving Bitty a dramatic rendition of the last time Holster worked from home when it is clear that Shitty has had enough.

He clears his throat melodramatically, but Jack is the only one who notices. He shrugs at Shitty, who rolls his eyes and whistles. Loudly. “OK. I love you all, but I think it’s time we addressed the big fuckin’ elephant in the room.”

“Not that getting attention with a wolf-whistle isn’t rude, but Shits might be right,” Lardo adds. “What’s going on?”

Bitty turns to Jack with a smile. “Do you want to take the lead on this one, sweetheart?”

“I’m happy for you to do it, if you want.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Shitty mutters. “Just get on with it.”

“Hush, you,” Bitty tells him with a smile. “Anyway. Gosh, I don’t know where to start. Um … You guys know how we’ve been on the adoption list for a few years now? And it’s come close but it’s always fallen through? Well … We got a phone call from the social worker about half an hour ago. We’ve been approved, and our daughter’s being born on Tuesday.”

The room is deathly silent for a few seconds before,

“Holy fuck. Are you serious?”

“You guys! You’re going to be parents in a few _days_?”

 “Oh my God. Oh my _God_.”

“Christ, guys, that’s amazing!”

Jack looks over at Bitty, who is grinning from ear to ear, and knows that he’s doing the same. Before he knows it, Lardo has reached over the table to grab his hands with a smile, Ransom has picked Bitty up in a hug and Shitty is trying to hold back tears.

After a few minutes of excitement, Jack sees the moment that Ransom swaps from friend mode to surgeon-who-is-ready-to-get-shit-done mode. “OK, this is amazing but it’s time to get to work. What’s the plan?” he asks Jack.

“What plan?”

“Don’t be coy, Jack. Where’s the list that you’ve been writing since you got this news? What are our chores and when are our deadlines? What needs to be done before we bring this baby home?”

Jack rolls his eyes but pulls the list out of his pocket. It has obviously been folded, refolded and annotated many times in the last half hour.

“Good _God_ , this is thorough. “

“Yeah, but would you ever expect anything less?” Holster chirps.

“I love your lists, Jack,” Lardo breaks in. “At least these clowns are semi-efficient when you give them stuff to do. Unlike those first roadies with the frogs in your junior year, I swear to God, I will never forget when –”

“First of all, rude,” Shitty objects. “Second of all, I think that you should appreciate that we –”

“Shits, I need you to shut up.” Ransom doesn’t even look like he feels bad stopping him. “We don’t have time for this. OK. So. Jack and Lardo are off to Ikea because –” he squints, “– _I guess Ikea will do considering the short notice._ Whatever you say, Jack. Ikea is awesome. Shits and Bitty are going to Target, which is unfair. Holtzy and I are … painting the nursery and then building Ikea stuff. Fuck yes. Can we choose the colour? I’m thinking a pastel orange, or maybe a blue, or even a –”

“You absolutely cannot,” Bitty breaks in. “But it would be awesome if you could go grab the paint. I’ll give you the swatch we’ve already chosen. Plus drop-sheets, brushes, whatever else y’all’ll need. Just give me the receipts when you get back.”

“Brah.” Holster stares at him with a look of horror. “This is our first present to your child. We’re not giving you fucking receipts.”

“If you insist,” Bitty says with a smile and a blush.

“Damn straight, I insist. Now let’s do this.”

* * *

Jack, the list king of the universe, has spent the car trip planning what they’ll need to get, but he takes one step into Ikea and freezes. He hasn't been for years, since he moved into his first apartment. When they bought their house, Bitty had decided that they could finally afford to invest in nice pieces, and he'd been happy enough to go along. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, and their baby needs a crib, no matter where it’s from.

Thank God for Lardo.

She yanks him over to one side, grabs his list and pulls a pen out of her pocket. "OK, so ... crib, change table, storage, book shelves, rug for the floor, armchair for nursing. We're not getting art, no niece of mine is coming home to Ikea canvases."

She glances up at him, notices his panicked expression and pats him on the arm. "Easy done. Come on, stop looking like that, Jack. It's a piece of cake. I'm going to set a time limit for each thing, we're going to just decide and then move on, OK?"

Jack nods slowly.

Lardo rolls her eyes and pulls him towards the living room department. They take a few minutes to sit in each armchair, finally choosing one with a padded back and high arms. “Practical for feeding and comfy enough to sit in for hours when she won’t sleep. What colour are you painting the nursery?”

“Um … yellow, I think.”

Lardo examines their options before grabbing a floral cover and moving them quickly on to the bedroom section. They pick out a chest of drawers, then weave their way through a veritable maze of bed frames and kitchen cabinets and desks before reaching the children’s department. Jack paces backwards and forwards, worrying about crib safety, until Lardo gives a long-suffering sigh and narrows his options to three. He picks out the most solid-looking one, chooses a mattress at random and writes down the code for a change table.

They go downstairs, grab a massive area rug and a lamp, then head through to the warehouse area. Lardo pushes another cart into Jack’s hands and they make their way through the shelves, grabbing the massive boxes.

When they finally make it through the checkout, Jack sees someone taking photos of him on their phone. He sighs internally, bracing himself for another round of cheating rumours. Now involving babies, thanks to the clearly-labelled crib. No matter how many times he and Bitty are photographed at events, no matter how many love-sick posts are featured on their social media accounts, people love to assume Jack’s leaving his husband for Lardo.

Maybe because she’s the only woman he’s ever seen with in public besides his mom.

Shitty is torn between thinking it’s hilarious and being outraged at the infringement of their privacy. He’s got a scrapbook of all the articles, which he insists is evidence he’s collecting for their unavoidable lawsuit.

When they finally get the car loaded and get inside, Jack is on the verge of an attack. He tries to regulate his breathing, calming himself as best as he can. Despite doing his best to be subtle, Lardo knows him better than that and notices after about ten seconds of close proximity.

“Jack? What’s wrong?”

He tries to stop his voice from shaking. “Someone took a photo of us buying a fucking crib.”

“Oh, for God’s – Are you serious?” She frowns as Jack nods miserably. “Where are they now? Can you still see them?”

He looks around but the person is long gone. “I don’t know. Putting the picture on Twitter, I guess. Or selling it to a tabloid. Here come more rumours. Calisse, I don’t have _time_ for this right now.”

Lardo reaches out for his hand and he grabs hers, completely ignoring how it may look to onlookers. “Jack? Hey, you’re OK. It’s going to be OK. Everyone who knows you knows that you’re not leaving Eric for me, and anyone who thinks that it’s even a possibility is an idiot. You’re happy with your husband, I’m happy with that idiot I call a boyfriend. Everything’s fine. Call someone on the team and explain what’s going on, if it would make you feel better to know that they’ve got an eye on it.”

After a few more minutes, Jack feels ready to let go. He sits on his hands and pushes back against the headrest while Lardo starts the car and turns the radio on.

By the time they get back home, Jack has called Falcs PR and explained the entire situation, from the adoption to the photos. Jessica promises she’s on top of it, and he does his best to put it out of his mind.

* * *

The next few days fly by in a flurry of paint and lost Ikea screws and hastily-cooked freezer meals. Bitty is trying to photograph everything he’s cooking so that he can write it up later and have some blog posts in the bank, trusting everyone else to run the show.

Jack cries regularly. They each take turns walking with him around the neighbourhood, listening to his worries and offering advice. He can’t remember the last time he was hugged quite so much.

When they all head off on Sunday night, the nursery is essentially ready to go. Lardo pulls some old paintings from storage and they’ve been carefully hung on the still-drying paint. Shitty fusses about the stability of the furniture until everything has been reinforced. Ransom and Holster disappear for a few hours and return with several bags of books to begin filling the bookshelves.

Monday morning is spent meeting with Emily at her office, signing reams of paperwork and having their fears assuaged. They get coffee with Rose, who is huge and miserable but seems genuinely happy that they’ll be adopting the baby.

The afternoon is spent running last minute errands. Jack doesn’t think either of them realised precisely how much stuff one baby could need, but the internet quickly set them straight. The kitchen counters are covered with bottles and sterilisers, the nursery stuffed to the brim with clothes and diapers and wipes and burp cloths and God knows what else.

At some point during the day, Jack realised that tomorrow was a turning point. They will never be childless again. For the rest of their lives, they will be _parents._ The thought is equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.  

They fall into bed early Monday night exhausted, but don’t fall asleep for hours. They talk about everything and nothing. They make slow, comfortable love in the way that only married couples can. Bitty finally falls asleep with his arm around Jack’s waist, and Jack follows him soon after.

* * *

Tuesday morning, Jack wakes up with the sunrise and knows he’s not getting back to sleep. He slips out of bed as quietly as he can, heads to their gym in the basement and changes into his exercise gear. He goes for a long run to try and clear his head, and by the time he’s returned and showered, Bitty has woken up and made muffins.

They sit across from each other at the kitchen table, eating breakfast, Jack reading the sports section of the newspaper and Bitty catching up on Twitter. Bitty gets up to get another cup of coffee, and the silence is broken by the hissing of the machine. He makes his way back to the table and sticks his feet into Jack’s lap.

“So…”

“So?”

Bitty snorts. “We’re not playing this game, Jack. What are you thinking?”

Jack glances up at the clock on the wall. “Rose was induced an hour ago, but Emily said that it’s going to take ages, so I’m trying to think about anything else. Hence, the Western Conference. The Stars are killing it, but if they get through this round, I guess they’ll be up against the Sharks and that could go either way. That rookie goalie of theirs is seriously impressive.”

“But do you think the Stars _can_ beat the Blues? I mean, they’re doing well, but it’s tied 2-2. It looks to me like they’re starting to get complacent, and we all know what happens when teams get complacent.”

“Yeah. Thanks, love.”

Bitty blushes and tries to rectify the statement. “I’m not saying _y’all_ got complacent, I’m just saying that –”

“Look, it sucked, I’ll admit it. It fucking _sucked_.” Jack breaks off and reminds himself to breathe. “But it’s been a few weeks, we can’t do anything about it now. We’ll get back on the ice soon and come back stronger next year.”

“That’s the spirit, babe.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before Jack can’t take it anymore. “I think everything’s done so I’m going to go read outside, OK? Let me know if you remember anything I can do?”

Bitty smiles. “I will, honey.”

Jack lies on his stomach in the grass, flicking through _What To Expect_. He keeps getting distracted imagining what their daughter will look like.

* * *

**_group message: DKZ_ **

**Lardo:** How are you feeling, bro?

**Jack:** it’s all a bit surreal

**Jack:** we’ll have her later today????

**Jack:** what if we fuck her up

**Jack:** bitty’s going to be amazing but what if i can’t do this

**Lardo:** She’s going to have the biggest family ever

**Lardo:** Between all of us, we’ll keep her safe and happy

**Shitty:** we’ve got your back jack

**Shitty:** HOLY SHIT WHY HAVE I NEVER MADE THAT JOKE BEFORE

**Lardo:** Oh my GOD shitty

**Jack:** thanks, man

**Jack:** i appreciate you both

* * *

At 11:15, Jack has had enough. He finds Bitty in the nursery, folding freshly-washed clothes and putting them away in the new chest of drawers. The room smells faintly of fresh paint, but the window is open and Jack thinks that the baby will be sleeping in their room for the first few nights anyway.

“You almost ready to go, love?”

Bitty turns and smiles at him. “You know what? I think I am. How are you feeling?”

“Terrified,” he says honestly. “But excited too, I think.”

“You’re going to be fine,” Bitty says seriously. “I believe in you. Let’s go bring our baby home, OK?”

Jack offers to drive to the hospital, but Bitty takes one look at his shaking hands and picks up the keys. When they get there, they park and head to the maternity wing. After a few minutes, they work out the room number and head in that direction. They know they’ve found it when they poke their heads around the doorframe to see Rose pacing the room, her face flushed. She looks over and manages a pained smile. “Hi, guys. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Bitty runs over and hugs her. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

“Shit, _everything_ hurts. It’s almost time to push, apparently, so I just want to get it over with.”

Bitty smiles at her. “I’m sure. But you’re doing so well, honey. Not long now.”

Jack butts in. “And Rose, we just wanted to say … thank you. Thank you so much.”

Rose grabs his hand and holds it happily. Then she moans and squeezes it harder. “Oh _God_ , here comes another one.” Jack’s surprised by her strength. He silently hopes that she’s passed it on to the baby, then checks himself.

A nurse comes in to check Rose’s dilation, and they take their leave. “We’ll see you soon, OK?” Bitty tells her. “Send a nurse if you need anything from us.”

She smiles weakly at them.

A few hours later, they’re sitting in the waiting room with Shitty and Lardo. Neither Ransom nor Holster could get the day off work but they’re waiting for the call. Bob won’t stop texting and Suzanne has phoned four times. Bitty paces around the room, trying to convince his mom that there’s no new information.

“Mama, we’re literally still sitting in the waiting room. I promise you that y’all’ll know anything as soon as we do … She was induced about five hours ago, it could be a while yet. Let’s all hope for the poor girl’s sake that it doesn’t take much longer but – Yes, Mama, I know you were in labor for eight hours. Yes, I thank the Lord for you and your strength every day, but there’s nothing I can do right now. Oh my – _yes_ , Mama. Yes. I will. I have to go, OK? I love you too. I will. Yes, Mama. OK. Yes. Bye.”

He collapses into the chair next to Lardo, rubbing at his eyes. “At this point, I just want her to be born so I can tell my mom that it’s happened. Is that terrible?”

“Whatever gets you through, bro,” Lardo laughs, patting him on the knee.

“Fuck, I’m so bored,” Shitty blurts out. “Can I get anyone else coffee?” Bitty nods, and they both head downstairs to the cafeteria to grab drinks.

“How are you going, Jack?” Lardo asks quietly.

Jack sighs. “I just … I want her to get here. But I’m terrified. You know … a few years ago, I could barely take care of myself. And now there will be this tiny person and she’ll be my responsibility and I just … fuck, I don’t want to fail her. My parents were amazing and look how I turned out.”

Lardo grabs his hand. “I can’t promise you’re not going to fail her, but it seems pretty unlikely. You and Bitty will learn together. We’ll be there when you need us. You can call your parents if you need to, or his parents. Anyway, all first time parents feel like this. It’ll be fine. Better than fine. It’ll be good. And if it’s not, we’ll all cross that bridge when we come to it, OK?”

Jack lets go of her hand, but rests his head on her shoulder. “Where would I be without all of you?”

“You’d be OK, Jack. But I’m glad we all have each other.”

A nurse comes out through the swinging doors and walks over to them. "Hi, Jack,” she smiles. “She’s here. Rose wants you guys to hold her first, if you want to come through now. We’ve got them both in a recovery room just down the hall.”

Jack feels all of the blood leave his face. His breath starts to quicken and Lardo reaches over to grab his hand. “Oh, my husband – he just –”

Thankfully, Lardo butts in. “He’s just getting coffee. Give them one minute?”

“Of course,” the nurse says with a smile. “Room 318, whenever you’re ready.”

Luckily, Bitty returns a few seconds later, carrying a Gatorade, which he hands to Jack and an iced tea, which he hands to Lardo. “Shits is on his way, he ran into someone he knew and wanted to say hi.” He looks at Jack closer, his eyebrows furrowing. “Wait, what’s wrong, baby?”

Jack shakes his head, physically incapable of replying. Lardo takes over: “She’s here. Room 318.”

Bitty’s face breaks into the happiest grin Jack has ever seen. It rivals their wedding day. He grabs Jack’s hand, running his thumb over the back soothingly. “You’re fine, baby. It’s going to be just fine. Let’s go meet our daughter, OK?”

Jack tries to take a deep breath and stands up. There are bigger fish to fry than his anxiety right now.

They walk down the corridor, looking for Room 318. Jack walks through the door slowly, carefully, his hand still planted firmly in Bitty's.

“Hi, guys,” Rose calls from the bed. The poor thing looks exhausted, her hair drenched with sweat. “She’s just in the crib by the window. I’ve just got to have some tests done, but I’ll be right here. Go say hello.”

They slowly make their way over and peer into the crib.

Lying there, half asleep, is the smallest person Jack’s ever seen. She's got masses of dark hair and a scrunched up nose. Her hands are curled into tiny fists and she's making snuffling noises. He's never seen anything so breakable in his life. She's minutes old and he’s only seen her for a few seconds, but there is no doubt in Jack's mind that he would kill to keep her safe.

"Oh my God, Jack. _Look_ at her." Bitty sounds as overwhelmed as Jack feels.

Jack can't say a word.

Bitty reaches down to stroke one tiny hand, and she looks around grumpily. "Hello, sweet thing. I'm sorry if I bothered you," Bitty murmurs to their daughter. "I'm just so excited to meet you. I'm sure it's bad parenting etiquette to disturb a calm baby, but I'm going to learn, OK? We can learn together. You're pretty new to this too, I guess." She gives a displeased grunt and closes her eyes slowly.

Bitty bumps Jack with his hip. "Jack, I just communicated with our baby!"

Jack smiles softly. "You really did, love."

Ten minutes later, they’ve stared and cried and sent pictures to their parents. Rose has been taken to another room after being thoroughly and tearfully thanked and now Bitty is sitting in a chair with their daughter in the crook of his arm, just watching her breathe. Jack is sitting on the arm of the chair watching them both, barely resisting the temptation to stroke her hand.

"So, you still happy with Eloise?" Jack asks Bitty. Even as he says it, though, it feels wrong. She's not an Eloise.

Bitty, gazing at the baby, confirms his suspicions. “I’m actually not sure anymore.”

“Yeah, neither. What else was on our most recent list?”

Bitty slowly, carefully hands the baby to Jack and pulls out his phone, finding the note they’ve been constantly updating since they were put on the adoption register a few years ago. “OK. So we’ve got, let me see … Lea? Olivia? Claire, Chloe, Charlotte, Ariane, Gabrielle, Rosalie, Zoe…”

“Wait, wait, wait. Go back.”

“Which one? Charlotte? Chloe? Gabrielle?”

Jack smiles down at his daughter, calm in his arms. He holds out a finger and she wraps her entire fist around it. “Yeah. Gabrielle.”

“Gabrielle Bittle?” Bitty asks. He looks up from his phone. “Yes. It’s perfect. God, I love it. What do you think, little one?”

She squirms. “I think she approves,” Bitty murmurs.

“Middle name?”

“I was thinking Jacqueline,” Bitty chirps.

“Don’t you dare, love. How do you feel about Erica?”

Bitty laughs, loud and happy. “OK, let’s not. Do you want to do Alicia? Suzanne? Or we could do Rose – we wouldn’t have her without Rose.”

“Gabrielle Rose Bittle?” Jack says, needing to hear it out loud. “Gabrielle Rose. Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“Like you, gorgeous thing,” Bitty coos at the baby. “What do you think, honey?”

She sneezes.

“It’s a sign. Gabrielle Rose, it is.”

* * *

After a few more minutes of them staring at Gabrielle and whispering to each other, Bitty goes out to the waiting room and comes back with Shitty, Lardo having disappeared to call Ransom. He walks into the room, takes one look at Jack and flops into the chair across from him. "Holy _fuck_ ," he whispers. "Guys, is that your baby?"

Bitty grins at him. "Her name's Gabrielle Rose."

Shitty makes grabby hands until Jack hesitantly places the sleeping bundle in his arms. "Please, Shits, just be so careful with her."

Jack needn't have worried. Shitty just looks down at the baby and smiles. "Hi, Gabi. How's it going? I'm your uncle. We're going to have so many adventures, sweetheart. So much fuckin' discourse."

"It's Gabrielle," Jack bursts in softly, but Bitty just laughs and places a hand on his arm.

"How long did you think it would take for her to get a nickname, baby? Gabi's just fine by me."

"It'll do," Jack mutters, trying to look displeased.

Lardo flings the door open and then stops dead. "Oh my God," she says quietly. "I can't believe this is happening. That's a real baby."

"Fuck yes it is," Shitty coos. "Her name's Gabi Rose and she's going to be the best Bittle ever."

"It's Gabrielle, actually," Jack mutters pathetically, even though he can already tell it’s a lost cause.

Lardo ignores him and goes over to stand behind her boyfriend, staring at the tiny face surrounded by blankets. "She's incredible, you guys."

"Yeah, she's not bad," Bitty says with a smile.

"How dare you?" Shitty hisses. "She's the greatest baby I've seen in my entire life. We need to send the Samwell crew a photo, get Nursey going on the poetry."

Jack shoots Shitty a concerned look, which he doesn't pick up on, too busy trying to work out a way to hand Gabi over to Lardo without waking her up. They finally find a way, and Lardo hugs the little parcel tightly.

"Hi, gorgeous," she murmurs. "It's good to meet you, Gabi. I'm going to keep you so safe from all of the crazy that you've been born into."

Jack and Bitty quickly have one of those silent conversations that only work between people that spend far too much time together. Of course, anyone in the room could have done the same, but the Duan-Knights were too busy loving on the newest family member to notice. Jack nods, and Bitty smiles.

"Hey, guys?” Bitty interrupts quietly. “We've actually got a question for you both."

"Fine, twist my arm," Shitty grins. "We'll adopt her instead." Lardo almost looks tempted, gazing at Gabi gently.

"Um ... Any chance you guys want to be godparents?" They both stare at him. Bitty's discouraged by the silence, and quickly continues. "I mean, you don't have to, we’re not expecting you to take her to church or anything, but y'all are two of Jack's oldest friends and basically my siblings and you're going be around all the time and we just thought that –"

"Fuck yes," Shitty exclaims. Gabi stirs at the noise and he quickly takes it down several notches. " _Fuck_ yes. Me, anyway. Lards can speak for herself, obviously. But, yes, for me. Please."

Lardo smiles, sniffing softly. "It would be an honour, boys."

* * *

A few hours later, Gabi has been through all of the requisite checks and they’re ready to take her home. Theoretically, anyway. She fell asleep in the crib about twenty minutes ago, and they’ve been standing in silence, watching her breathe, ever since.

“I don’t want to touch her,” Bitty whispers. “What if I wake her up and she doesn’t sleep for a week?”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Jack whispers back. “Babies sleep all the time. Surely if we wake her up she’ll just fall asleep again?”

Gabi snuffles in her sleep, and her parents freeze.

“We can’t just stand here forever,” Jack decides after a few minutes of melodramatic, terrified silence. “They’re going to kick us out eventually. Let’s just do it, Bittle. Action stations.”

Bitty huffs sullenly. “Don’t you _dare_ try and captain me, Jack.”

Jack turns to face his husband, taking both of his hands. “Eric. My love. Light of my life. The rest of our existence is going to be dictated by this very small, very asleep human being. We can’t stand here forever. At some point, we’re going to have to leave this room and go back to our house and just trust that she won’t suffocate on paint fumes.”

Bitty wipes his nose on the back of his hand and sniffs. “Well, she’s obviously sleeping in our room until hers smells normal again. And then a few more days, to be safe.”

“Just to be safe,” Jack agrees. Before he knows what’s happening, Bitty pulls him by the arm and kisses him hard. Jack kisses him back, smiling.

“We can do this,” Bitty says, clearly trying to convince himself.

“We absolutely can.”

“We’re going to be great parents.”

“Yes, we are.”

“OK. Let’s go.”

Jack reaches down into the crib and picks up their daughter, cradling her against his shoulder. She weighs almost nothing, but even so, he’s terrified of dropping her. Of failing her. But then she squirms and settles, and he realises that she trusts him. Which may be stupid, but she doesn’t know any better.

He’s not going to fail her. It’s just not an option.

* * *

Shitty and Lardo give them a few days of space but come to visit on Friday afternoon, bearing a casserole and a lot of salad. And a vat of protein powder, which Lardo insists is a joke. Shitty’s wink suggests it could be a chirp, but at least it’s a useful one.

When Jack opens the door, Shitty has pre-emptively found the spare key and almost has it in the keyhole. “Leave the pot plant alone, man. I’ll get you a key when I get to the mall next, OK?”

“God, you’re a romantic motherfucker,” Shitty laughs. “Of course I’ll move in with you. Now, where’s my godbaby?”

“Bits and Gabi are on the couch in the TV room. I think she’s finally asleep, so just go quietly?”

Shitty pushes past him and into the house, but Lardo waits patiently in the doorway, watching Jack quietly. “Come in, Lards.”

She smiles and walks through the door, following Shitty to say hi to Bitty. Jack shuts the door and then heads in the same direction. Shitty is already sitting on the couch next to him, having co-opted Gabi the second he got the opportunity. He’s cradling her gently while he tells Bitty about the drive over, and the contrast is almost poetic.

“This motherfucker, Bits, you’d never believe. So, they start going up the ramp, but then pull back onto the highway at the last minute. I swear to God, my fuckin’ life flashed before my eyes. If Lardo didn’t have incredible reflexes, I don’t know if we’d be here right now. Thank fuck there was no-one in the other lane. I wrote down the plate number, I’m going to call the DMV on Monday and have their fuckin’ license taken away.”

“But we did make it here, Shits. It’s OK.”

“Are you telling me you weren’t scared, babe? Because I was absofuckinlutely terrified. I think my heart’s still racing.”

Jack settles into an armchair has Lardo goes around to the front of the couch, squeezing in between her boyfriend and Bitty. “We’re fine, babe. Focus on the positives. How good do babies smell?”

Shitty sticks his nose into Gabi’s downy hair and breathes in deeply. “Incredible. Of course, this is the best smelling baby in the universe, but that’s neither here nor there.”

Lardo rolls her eyes, then reaches over to hug Bitty from the side. Before she can, though, she recoils with a grimace. “Bud, I don’t know if you want me to tell you this but … you’ve got a little something on your shirt.”

“Oh, lord. Sorry. Having a baby is really not glamorous, I’ll tell you something. Give me a second, I’ll just go up and change. Can one of y’all go put the coffee machine on?”

They make their way into the kitchen, and are eventually joined by Bitty in one of Jack’s Samwell t-shirts. They all sit around the table nursing mugs of coffee and slices of pie while Gabi dozes in Shitty’s arms. After a while, Lardo goes out to the car and comes back with a small bag which she puts on the table, sitting back self-consciously.

“What’s this?” Bitty asks. He pulls it towards him with a grin and shakes it. “Wait, is this for us or Gabi?”

Shitty snorts. “We’re not lame enough to buy Gabi something that small, Bits. Please.”

“Don’t blame me,” Lardo protests. “It was his idea.”

“Guilty as charged,” Shitty says with a grin. He nudges Jack. “I give you permission to laugh at that joke, by the way, because it was multifaceted and perfectly executed. Because I’m a _lawyer_.”

“Yep, you’re hilarious,” Jack mutters, distracted by the way that Bitty gasps as he pulls the paper off the small parcel. Jack leans over to see what it is and blinks.

It’s a photo frame containing a picture that Jack can’t remember being taken. In the photo, Shitty is cradling a bundle of blankets with a teary smile on his face. Lardo is leaning over his shoulder. Across from them, Bitty has his arms around Jack’s waist, eyes red-rimmed. They all look content.

More than that. They look complete.

“Oh my God,” Bitty breathes, tears in his eyes. “Oh, it’s gorgeous. Thank you so much.”

“One of the nurses texted it to me,” Lardo tells Jack quietly. “She thought we might want something to remember the moment.”

Jack smiles softly. “It’s perfect.”

* * *

It sits on the hall table with their other memories. The obvious ones: toddler Jack on his first pair of skates, Bob holding his hand carefully; Bitty and his parents at an elementary school science fair; a formal wedding picture. But these are far outnumbered by more casual snaps. Their first selfie. Their first Christmas together. Chowder with his first successful pie. Shitty looking at Lardo like she hung the moon. Receiving the keys to their first house. Ransom and Holster slow-dancing on Bitty’s 25th birthday. Shitty ambush-kissing Jack at their wedding. All of them in black tie at Lardo’s last gallery opening. Jack, Lardo and Holster lying on the grass in their backyard, Shitty and Ransom sneaking up behind them with buckets of water.

It’s only right that Gabi should join such prestigious company on her first day.

**Author's Note:**

> OK but I started this a month and a half ago. WHY THE FUCK DID IT GET SO LONG? But actually. Thank you for your patience if you’re still here. 
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://murrayhewitt.tumblr.com) if you so desire.


End file.
